Dealing
with a cheating spouse or cheating boyfriend can be one of the most
painful and devastating experiences a relationship can face.
I cannot recommend this book enough.
It not only outlines specifically the 7 types of affairs (and how to
handle each - whether you choose to stay or go), but you will find it's
material empowering. This book will help you to fully understand that
YOU are not defective.
There is nothing wrong with YOU!
It also begins with the big question: "Do you really want to be
in a relationship with this person?"
Anyone faced with infidelity, or anyone who wants to avoid infidelity
should have a copy of this book. I cannot recommend it enough. Tracey
at pig-dogs.net
Dear Dr.
Huizenga,
I just bought your book yesterday and all I can say is thank you. I
was on a emotional roller coaster when I found out that my wife was
having an affair(#4). Everything you said about the typical reactions
for the
offended were dead on. Everything you mentioned, I was going through(
I was
miserable). You helped me more than anyone or any resource ever did.
It was uncanny how accurate everything was. Dr. Huizenga, you saved
me from so much pain and angish, now I have the power, the knowledge
and the confidence to go on with my life. Thank you for everything.
Kelly
PS
I would have paid ten times more for the book if I knew how truly powerful
it was.
Your E-book
finally gave me some peace of mind and a roadmap to follow. It was amazing
how the type of affair my wife was having just jumped out at me. Knowing
that, and what to expect, has given me hope that there will be a resolution.
Thanks, Bob ....Joe
This is
the one year anniversary of my life turning upside down due to an affair.
You helped me to move beyond the hurt and to focus more clearly as I
made some very hard decisions regarding my wife's infidelity. The guidance
you provided was invaluable, both for understanding the affair and myself.
Thank you...Tim R
...your
E-book is a tremendous help. I reread it anytime I start feeling that
things are getting out of control. It helps put things in perspective.
Thanks for the help. Sharon
Your e-book
hit my situation dead on the head!!! I felt like I was getting a reading
from a psychic!!! I have chills right now. Lauren
A friend
of mine suggested I buy your e-book on affairs which I read with great
interest! My husband had 2 affairs during our marriage and we are now
going through a divorce. I couldn't believe how accurate your description
was of him - he is definitely number 3 but I don't feel he has always
been which is the sad thing really. Amber
I am amazed
at how on-target you are in your profiles of the different types of
"cheaters". I wish I had this two years ago--would have saved
me a lot of trial-and-error. Pamela
Your ebook
has already been a big help!No matter how this turns out I'm already
alot better off (feeling wise) than he appears to be. Seems like your
recommendations are right on target - he can't figure out exactly what
is going on other than I'm doing very well these days and still being
a very caring loving wife. Thanks for all your help! Lisa
You have
opened a well-spring of ideas for me. Thanks! Kelly
...the
information I received from you in the e-book was some of the most helpful
I have seen, and I have read almost every "infidelity" and
"relationship" book ever published. Yvonne
I've read
the book---some parts over and over---and indeed it's worth it. Thank
you very much. Viki
I find
your writings an incredible source of comfort. I find power in knowledge
and you have helped me regain myself in all this mess. THANK YOU!
Bill
I learned
why I am having the affair. Why I feel like I do and that there is hope
for me to break the Revenge cycle that Ihave been on since Ilearned
of my husbands affair 20 years ago. I never let go and have had several
one night stands and 3 affairs. (One I am still in and want to break
free of but cant seem to stop). I finally recognize all the pain I have
felt and all the pain I am causing and what to do to stop it.
Your approach
is really different and unique. You have carved out quite a niche for
yourself! Michelle
I really
liked the phrase "I will make it." I have been really down
and it has some how reinspired me. I also liked the 12 mistakes people
make. I knew I wanted to stay in the relationship (for a variety of
reasons) but I was having a hard time moving forward. Those 12 things
really made me look in the mirror. We have taken a lot of very positive
steps. Jeanette
At this
time I find your writings an incredible source of comfort. I find power
in knowledge and you have helped me regain myself in all this mess.
THANK YOU.
Out of
all the books and websites and counseling I've gone through, your site
has been of the most help to me and I am trying to find a way that I
can get full benefit. Thank you.
the information
I received from you in that short time was some of the most helpful
I have seen, and I have read almost every "infidelity" and
"relationship" book ever published.
you are
the best to have shared all you did...you helped me a great deal. Ciao
Your book
contains more valuable and relevant and USEFUL information than all
of the books combined I have read over the last two-plus years. Your
book is so overwhelmingly superior to the many, many books I have devoured
over the last three years, including the ones considered to be the "best"
on infidelity/affairs/relationships, and the information you provide
is so profoundly on-target and concisely written in a straightforward
manner that it is having a dramatic impact on my life and marriage and
on my beliefs/views/strategies as formed by and based on the other booksI
want to thank you for helping me. So often, those of us with limited
resources (money) are the ones who lose the most, because we can't afford
the very help we need. You have provided me with something I've needed
for a long time. I am so grateful.
Your information
was HUGELY helpful in helping me to categorize (to a tee!) this "behavior"
and of course look to move beyond it...
I have
been using the Charging Neutral technique even without knowing about
it until today. This is not normal for me since I am unemotional from
day-to-day, but get emotional when we fight and eventually explode (like
the description in Affair #5). Being very, very calm with her at first
really scared her (I have never hit/hurt her), but she has opened up
tremendously the more I can show that I won't explode.
As usual
your information is right on the mark. Its uncanny how your stuff seems
to reach me just when I am looking for the information. It's marvelous
to read. It makes me feel normal again. Regards Yvette
Dr. Huizenga,
your book has provided me with greater insight, with more understanding,
with reassurance of my own value. But it has also presented me with
a scary problem: My husband's affair was a very complicated matter,
it is not going to be an easy or short road to recovery, and it will
not be easy determining which tactics to use and when as I deal with
building a new, and hopefully better thanks to you, relationship with
my husband. Initially my heart and hopes sank as I discovered just how
difficult this "recovery" will be, but it is encouraging to
find that my intuitive responses in dealing with my husband and his
affair have more often than not been correct. You have also given me
many new ideas of ways to "shake up" the way we communicate
and relate with each other, something we have needed badly for many
years. I have a difficult road ahead, I have to accept that, but you
have helped me understand that new territory better than I could have
without this book. I can never thank you enough or repay your generosity.
Sally
Dr. Huizenga:
I knew my husband was involved with another woman. His affair lasted
two years and has been ended for almost ten months. You have produced
the most helpful, useful and relevant book on dealing with your partner's
affair that I have ever seen. You include vital information that no
other source contains. Your profiles are so accurate it is eery! For
me the most valuable part of each chapter is the very specific advice
on what YOU can do to increase your chances that your marriage will
survive the affair. I felt many times as I read your book that you somehow
had been in my head and heart and living my life, your descriptions
and profiles are that accurate! Yvonne
I just
finished reading your e-book How to break free of the affair. I must
state this was the best book on relationships I have read thus far.
my compliments on your wonderful book. Thank you NR
My wife
and I have been fighting about 8 months now & she finally moved
out about 3 weeks ago I wish I would have gotten you e book sooner.
Joe
Can't believe
reading your ebook that the situations are just like what I'm experiencing.
My husband left the house three months ago. Four days before our 25TH
Anniversary We celebrated it with a night in NYC Nothing spared. I know
he's having an affair & won't admit it. Lately, he's been a great
deal better with his attitude. I think the affair has somewhat come
to an end. He still needs two weeks to come home. Why??? I made an appointment
with a mediator. He flipped today with that. Mary
I wanted
to Thank you earlier but have been busy with the baby. She is 3 1/2
months old and cutting her first teeth. Finding you has been a God send
for me. I hope God blesses you. Thank you for this material and I will
read every bit of it and use it in my everyday living. Pam
...very
tightly and concisely written, in understandable language and clear
suggestions. Thanks! Nancy
...you
pose pertinent and sometimes uncomfortable questions I must ask myself
to determine my own motives for wanting to save my marriage. But for
me the most valuable part of each chapter is your very specific advice
on what I can do to increase my chances that our marriage will survive
the affair. Yvonne
Thanks
again for your site because it helps put me back on the path of reality
and truth and gives me comfort and hope. May God bless. Carol
As
one of your members, I just wanted to say thank you for your web site
and for all you do to help others get through such a difficult time
in their lives. Several months ago I became a member of your "club"
and got your e-book "Break Free From The Affair."
I am impressed
with your book, and it's been helpful. Bob
Dear Dr.
Huizenga, First and foremost I want to say that you have already helped
me tremendously just by reading some of your articles and information
on your website and your emails. Of all the websites and books I have
read, yours is superior in regard to this subject. I sincerely appreciate
all your work to help people like me that are in the situations that
we are. John
I downloaded
your e-book and it helped me cope with what was happening in my life.
I must have read it 25 times!!! Thank You, Kathi
Already,
I have started putting into practice the suggestions from your materials
and usually feeling empowered. linda
First,
I have bought your ebook and have found it fantastic. I'm still trying
to identify which type of affair scenario fits my husband. I am after
only 6 weeks in surprisingly good "emotional" shape, which
in part is due to your book. Karen
Dear Bob,I
recently purchased your E-book "Break Free From Your Affair"
on November 10, 2003. I really depend on this book right now. However,
it is gone from my computer. I don't know what happened to it. Please
help. I need to refer back to it. Robin
The best
Christmas present I will get. I will get over all this and figure out
what to do going forward. My faith in male/female relationships has
been severely damaged but I will work on that. Sue
Just a
note to wish you a very happy holiday season. I want to thank youfor
all your help this past year. Your counsel and articles have helped
mea more than you will ever know. Whenever I start to get down, I reread
year book, especially the part on affair #4. Joe
One of
the best parts of the book has been examining my motivations and helping
me decide to save the marriage or not. I have found out much about myself
and identified my fear of living alone. I still struggle with the "I
will make it" self message and have some sadness over the loss
of the relationship with my wife. Overall I am very glad that I found
your website and appreciate the online discussion forum greatly. Marty
Your book
was very good, in fact one of the best I have read. Linda
I look
forward to hearing from you and for your ongoing advice, you are an
extremely important find for me. There is very little pragmatic literature
or advice out there .Sandy
Thanks
Bob for your encouraging words. I'm taking your advise and feel confident
and at peace that I am on the path to reclaiming my integrity. I'm planning
on a wonderful New Year! Joan
Here are
the things I have found good about your site/work so far.
1) It is written with a 360o degree viewpoint - that is to say when
you get into it you have thought about all the angles and the implications
of the problems an affair brings when disclosed.
2) Linked to this, I bought the E-Book on Sunday and read it in one
sitting - I have never thought about affairs (I was too scared too,
like most people) and found it absolutely fascinating to think and consider
what the propellers (motivates) are and how they may be very different.
I thought that the analysis of what type of affair your partner has
had was good to think about and it gave me ideas for why my partner
has had trouble with other relationships (apparently this is the first
time with me in 2.5 years!). But his father also had 2 (that he knows
of extramarital affairs) affairs and I think this is 'in his genes'
if there is such a thing!? It turns out his father left his first wife
when he returned from the navy to find out she had been unfaithful and
he walked out immediately on her & 3 smallish kids, left Canada
and joined the navy again to sail as far away as possible traveling
around the world and finally settling in London where he met my partners
mother.
3) It is well written and thought provoking. It's the cost of a therapy
session (£34 with my therapist) but you can take it in a lot more
and I felt like after the reading of the ebook that I'd gone through
a 'session' i.e. I'd thought, learnt and was curious to learn more about
myself and responses to the events
4) it makes it clear that the dumpee (the one who has been lied to)
and this is perhaps the most helpful thing, can have so much hope. I
have to focus on me and recovering with or without my partner.
5) it is easy for me to see my partner (ex!) as being a mix of your
types of affairs but that was not bad, I think that it is too complex
to make fix categories of it but a helpful guide. But the best questions
were the hard ones about why and if one should attempt to save the marriage,
but the advice of how to be cool, calm and cheerful is so right but
so hard! Thanks so much for the good work Bob! Best G.
Thank
you so much. Your advice makes a lot of sense, for us to find a way
to use the pain of these prank calls to make us stronger. I think my
wife & I are making great progress together in our relationship
and saving our marriage. I thank you so much for your ebook and your
advice in this specific matter. As a person who has felt like my life
has been turned upside down during this ordeal, you have provided me
much support and "calm" to my situation. Terry
I have
had a chance to browse through the ebook and spotted our scenario immediately.
I will try to follow your advice, it is so nice to know what to do instead
if flailing around doing the exact wrong thing! Christine
Thank you,
I feel like I have an answer now and help. Thank you again. Bless you
for helping so many people. I wish I had found your site a year ago
and I might not be in this mess. Sincerely, Debra.
I learned
about the kind of affair I was facing and that it was not my FAULT.
I also got practical strategies to get my life going.
The most
important thing that I learned was that I had to worry about myself
first. Another thing that was important was that I discovered that there
was an emptiness that my wife was feeling that was caused by something
that occurred to her long ago.That no matter what - I am going to make
it! The affair is not my fault. She chose to do it, not me!
With your
e-book, at least the feeling of being "crazy" is lessening
somewhat.
Thank-you
for writing your book, Break Free From the Affair. I downloaded it last
night and it has been very eye-opening. It is wonderful that just when
I needed some practical and sound advice, I found your site on the internet.
I've got a lot of things to work through, as I just uncovered concrete
evidence of my husbands' continuing years-long affair with his receptionist.
Your book has helped me pick my path, so to speak, of what I will (and
will not) do next. Laura
Get
through this faster! Gain confidence. Clear
the fog of confusion and diminish the pain.
They
try harder...to tolerate. They swallow….hard.
They wimp out and put up with all kinds of crap. (Sorry
about the language, but I assume you have thought worse.)
They hope time will cure and he will come to his senses.
